These practices consist of self-soothing to recognize and take care of our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual needs. For most of us battling trauma, self-nurturing is a foreign language. We don’t know where to begin. No one taught us. We weren’t taught how to self-nurture in school (although maybe we should have).

Most of us grew up with parents who had no clue how to self-nurture themselves, let alone how to nurture their kids. We have had few if any role models to show us how to feel safe in our bodies, self-regulate intense emotions like fear, move through negative feelings and thoughts, differentiate between safe or unsafe environments and people, or build healthy relationships.

Any conversation around self-nurturing and self-care has to address the elephant in the room. Many of us with hidden trauma hold devastating beliefs that we don’t deserve anything good or pleasurable or safe in this world. We believe we don’t deserve to feel loved, happy, respected, or at peace.